I did a special thing today, a very special thing I did last a while ago with my mum. This time I went with my niece and funny but from all the questions/ issues raised from the ‘thing’ we did, I felt like I was with my own child!
The thing we did was visit an orphanage. At this time of my life where carrying kids gives me a lot of pleasure (especially since I can return them to their mothers if they cry)! As we opened the door to the nursery, two baby girls cooed and waddled towards us. ‘Carry me’, one of them smiled and raised her hands. Of course I carried her!
It was lunch time and the kids were being fed noodles and sardines (see groove o)! Two nannies, trying to feed eight children, it was as funny as it was semi-chaotic! Some kids wanted to eat, others wanted to cry, others wanted to play, others wanted to be carried, and one particular chubby one just wanted to suck her thumb!
I had a great time o, really did, it was just a very emotional experience, especially when we had to leave and one particular kid kept saying, ‘cayi me’. All I could think of was, ‘if there were no abandoned kids, would we need orphanages’? I’m asking that again because the truth is the few orphanages around are stretched, meaning that they have more ‘abandoned kids’ than they can cater for! Its’ really sad, really sad.
Child abandonment is the practice of relinquishing interests and claims over one's offspring with the intent of never again resuming or reasserting it. Causes include many social and cultural factors as well as mental illness. An abandoned child is called a foundling or throwaway.
Historically, many cultures practice abandonment of infants, called "exposure." Although such children would survive if taken up by others, exposure is often considered a form of infanticide -- as described by Tertullian in his Apology: "it is certainly the more cruel way to kill. . . by exposure to cold and hunger and dogs."
Enough history, quick question: should we blame our mothers for abandoning their kids? Before you answer, which do you think is the lesser of the two evils, abortion, or abandonment? Now answer, and both questions.
Do you have your answers? Fine, run through these scenarios with me will you please?
One. A woman, pregnant for her 2nd child, goes for a scan and it reveals that for some reason her baby is one of the percentage that’ll be born with Down’s syndrome (or any one of those rare but very tasking ailments). We all know what that is, we know it has no cure, and we know what the child will be and the difficulties he/ she will encounter all their life.
Two. A young girl, maybe 15, is molested by her uncle/brother, father (who ever), and finds out she’s pregnant.
Three. A homely, somewhat goody-two-shoes kind of lady is raped, maybe during a robbery, or on her way home from work or something (and we all know that for some crazy reason, ‘one touch that time na goal’)!
Four. Undergrad chic has a boyfie, we all know how these things go, peck today, kiss tomorrow, smooch the next,……… and all of a sudden they’re looking under beds and in cupboards because she can’t ‘find’ her period!
Five. This one is a little difficult but a little popular too: a couple, wife sells boiled groundnut, husband is a mechanic in one remote place where the only cars are seen around Christmas time! They have like five kids (definitely not planned for), and the lady gets pregnant again (funnily ‘these people are the most fertile have you noticed) and then the scan says she’s carrying four? Or maybe the scan shows one and she gives birth to the one but the doctors see another head, and another, and another…till she has four?
Let’s try answering the same questions again shall we? Should we blame our mothers for abandoning their kids? And which do you think is the lesser of the two evils, abortion, or abandonment? Now answer, and both questions.
Whatever you think, there is no excuse under heaven for abandoning a child (and getting an abortion either). No matter the circumstances under which the child was conceived, there is no excuse (and trust me we’re not even talking morals here). It’s a special privilege to be a party to making a baby, trivializing that privilege is a slap on the face of the Creator and by extension, on the fairies too!
Ladies and gentlemen, you can either handle it or you can’t. Sorting that out before you do the ‘huckle buckle’, ‘hee haw’, tumble in the hay’, roll in the sack’, or whatever it is you call it, will save you, your partner and everyone else a lot of problems.
Be guided.
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